I have always enjoyed using my voice as an expressive tool. My carefree vocalisations in early childhood quickly started to change as my awareness of social environments shifted resulting in increased self-consciousness which caused me to shut down or suppress the fullness and vibrancy of my voice. As I came to more serious music study and engagement with Voicework; I had the feeling something was missing... I was striving for freedom in expression, limitless creativity; seeking strength and resilience in my personal confidence. I felt negatively impacted by the influence of social spaces, societal expectations and the pressure to conform to models of competition and hierarchy. Whilst at University, I started working with a teacher Isabella Dovaston. She was able to facilitate a space where I was able to experience an alignment and feeling of connection with my voice. I felt that for a few moments I was able to express myself with authenticity. That is to say; my vocalisations, they felt powerful, energising and they created a sensation of emotional release. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My voice was resonating on all levels.:
Physiological - posture & alignment facilitating ease of flow with my breath
Psychological - open & curious frame of mind; receptive to learning & comprehension
Emotional - feeling of safety in my body & in the space
Social - connection to environment & those in it
Spiritual - awareness & sensitivity of subtle energy and my relationship to it
It felt good. The sound made sense to me. The vocalisation energised me. I had the feeling that I was 'home'.
An important aspect of this experience was support through validation from a trusted individual. There was a mutual acknowledgement of my sound - it was received by the listener on a deeper level than simply the superficial element of aesthetic. There was emotional and energetic comprehension between us.
My authentic expression, sound and voice had been heard and understood. I decided to identify this sound and feeling as my True Voice.
I would describe my experience as an activation or awakening - moving from one state to another. This initiated the beginning of my Journey with the True Voice. I wanted to understand more about the mystery of this experience. The voice that I had connected with felt like something that had always been within me, so why was I unable to tap into this sound at will? This True Voice, I wanted to find it again, learn from it, express it freely and find a way to share and facilitate the same experience of personal connection and recognition I had found for others. I have been following this spiral path of self enquiry since 2011, asking how can I build a relationship between my Intention to Communicate and my Ability to Communicate as I Wish? How can I develop a strong, clear channel for my authentic voice to be expressed? .
Here, I am sharing all I have been; researching, exploring and practicing within the realms of Holistic Voicework as my understanding continues to evolve.
The True Voice is not a destination, it is a Journey.